Have you ever wondered why you can never, ever win an argument or resolve issues with a narcissist, no matter what approach you take? Today, I’m going to explain 10 toxic communication tactics that narcissistic partners use to make sure that issues in the relationship never get resolved. These tactics can also apply to other types of relationships. Keep in mind that occasional displays of these types of behaviors don’t necessarily mean that your partner is a narcissist.
Number one is they flip things around.
let’s say you have a valid concern. Instead of addressing your concern directly, a narcissist will turn the tables to make it seem like you are the problem. For example, if you express concern about your girlfriend’s overspending, she might accuse you of being controlling, flipping the situation around to make you feel guilty.
Number two is bringing in the past.
They steer the conversation away from the real issue by introducing an unrelated topic to divert your attention. A narcissist may bring up past events or grievances to deflect from current problems, making it challenging to address the actual issue.
Number three is accusing you of not caring.
When you express frustration about their behavior, a narcissist may counter with statements like, “If you love me, you wouldn’t be trying to control me.” They shift the focus to your perceived lack of appreciation, deflecting from the real issues.
Number four is minimizing your concerns.
narcissists invalidate your feelings and concerns by downplaying them. They may compare your situation to something seemingly worse or dismiss your feelings as overreacting, making you doubt the validity of your concerns.
Number five is shaming you.
– narcissists blame all relationship issues on your past trauma. They use your vulnerabilities to dismiss your concerns and frame everything as your fault, essentially shaming you for having fears and insecurities.
Number six is questioning your emotional intelligence.
They belittle your mental or emotional capacity, making you feel inadequate for not understanding or meeting their ever-changing needs. The focus shifts to your shortcomings, diverting attention from the real issues.
Number seven is gaslighting.
Subtly distorting reality to manipulate you into doubting your perceptions, memories, and sanity. Gaslighting involves denying facts or introducing alternative interpretations to make you question your reality.
Number eight is threatening to abandon you.
Using threats of abandonment during arguments or when addressing important issues. This can create fear and prevent you from expressing your needs or concerns authentically.
Number nine is the silent treatment.
Narcissists walk away, refusing to engage in conversations about important matters. This leaves you with no healthy way to express your needs and feelings, as they decide when and what will be discussed.
Number 10 is temper tantrums and rage episodes.
if you try to discuss a problem and stay on point, they may display disproportionate emotional reactions. This could be an effort to elicit a negative response from you, conditioning you to avoid their outbursts by walking on eggshells.
These toxic communication tactics ensure that the real issues are never addressed or resolved, keeping the relationship in a continuous cycle. If you consistently find yourself unable to resolve issues or express your needs, seeking help from a coach or counselor is crucial. Dealing with a narcissist requires assertiveness, setting boundaries, and communicating respectfully to regain your power. Remember, the narcissist is unlikely to hand your power back on a silver platter.
Leave a Comment