Today, we will learn about eleven early signs your relationship isn’t going to last. Now, let’s begin. How do you know if or when your relationship is failing? In the early stages, many relationships feel like a confusing and exciting flurry of emotions. You’re swept up in all the passion and enthusiasm of a new connection.
Every moment feels like a whirlwind, but as the dust begins to settle, you might begin to wonder: is this relationship really going to last? It’s natural to think about the future. After all, no one wants to invest time, energy, and emotion into a relationship that has no long-term potential. You want to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you two have something special, something with real potential to grow into a lasting relationship. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time with someone who isn’t a good fit for you.
Unfortunately, you can never be 100% sure that your partner is your soul mate, but you can figure out, with relative certainty, whether you’re barking up the wrong tree. In other words, if you step back and examine your relationship, you can identify red flags long before your relationship heads into dangerous territory. This is especially important in the early stages of your relationship when your future together is still undefined. During this formative period, you and your partner begin to create and mold your dynamic as a couple. What you do and say in the first few months, for example, has a rippling impact on how you interact down the road. If you’re seeing red flags now, in the early stages, it’s safe to assume those red flags will become more apparent in the future.
So, what red flags should you be looking for? What telltale signs indicate that you and your partner are incompatible? In this video, we’re going to cover eleven essential signs worth looking for you in your relationship, even if you and your partner are on good terms. If all the signs on this list sound unfamiliar, then your relationship may be strong. It may even go the distance. But if you notice more than one of these eleven red flags, these may be early signs your relationship isn’t going to last.
1. Passion Isn’t Enough.
You may feel an intense desire for your partner, but physical attraction may be as deep as your feelings go. It’s common in the early stages of relationships for partners to connect on passion alone. When it comes time to deepen your connection, you may realize how little you have in common. You don’t share similar values. You live your lives very differently.
On a basic level, you may not even like each other as people, even if you find each other attractive. If this rings a bell, there’s a good chance your relationship isn’t meant to be. Instead of love, you’re likely experiencing infatuation. While passion can drive a successful short-term relationship, it’s not enough for a deeper, more personal connection.
2. Proving Your Love.
Here’s a telltale sign that your relationship is heading into rocky territory. Every once in a while, you may feel like your partner is testing you. They may ask you for a favor or pose an open-ended question as if your response dictates the future of your relationship. What your partner is doing is not only unhealthy and unfair but also a common sign of distrust. They’re essentially asking you to prove how much you care about them. Here’s the problem.
No matter what you do or say, they’re not going to be satisfied. You might pass the first test, but there will be another… and another… until eventually, you make a mistake. From that moment onward, your partner will hold that mistake over your head, leading to all kinds of long-term issues. Don’t be with someone who constantly needs you to prove how much you care. Even if it isn’t a problem now, this toxic behavior is a reliable sign of problems to come.
3. The Tiniest Fights.
Do you and your partner disagree about tiny, mundane issues? Do you find yourself arguing over things that have no bearing on your relationship? This is common among couples who are not meant to be together. They fight about the smallest things, struggling to see eye to eye because deep down there are conflicts they have not resolved.
These mundane issues become substitutes for deeper issues, which may be impossible for either of you to admit or overcome. As mundane as these arguments seem, don’t overlook the bigger problems they represent. When those big problems eventually come to the surface, your relationship will almost always pay the price.
4. Hidden Weaknesses.
In the early stages of every relationship, we want to look our best for our partners. Unfortunately, this same mindset can lead to problems early in your relationship. It’s natural to show off your strengths to your partner, but you should also be willing to expose your vulnerabilities. That’s often what it means to be intimate with someone, yet many partners are unwilling to show any signs of weakness. They struggle with simple things like admitting their mistakes or addressing their weaknesses. Every time you try to help them, it devolves into an argument and creates conflict in your relationship. If this behavior sounds familiar, encourage your partner to let down their guard. Otherwise, your relationship probably won’t last.
5. The Unconscious Filter.
When you’ve lost faith in your relationship, you may catch yourself telling negative stories about your partner. Why? Because you want your friends and other people to give you the one piece of advice you want to hear: it’s time to end things. Oftentimes, we unconsciously filter our thoughts and ideas so that other people will react in the way we want. For example, if you’re convincing your friends that your partner isn’t good for you, chances are your relationship won’t last much longer.
6. Awkward Conversations.
Do you find it difficult to engage in simple conversations with your partner? You have limitless things to talk about, yet your conversations never feel comfortable or natural. Somehow, you both struggle to get the words out of your mouths, leading to awkward silences and frequent miscommunications.
Talking is, in many ways, fundamental to every successful relationship. It’s how you express emotions, solve problems, and grow closer as a couple. If you’re not talking regularly, that closeness will never develop, and your relationship will come to an end.
7. Searching for Excuses.
Do you often make plans without your significant other? You may find yourself more excited to spend time away from your partner than you are to spend time with them. For instance, you may search for excuses to spend every weekend with your friends. Why? Because you and your partner aren’t meant to be. You’re searching for reasons to get away because your relationship isn’t as strong or long-lasting as you think.
8. Stuck in the Past.
Nothing is more frustrating than your partner talking about their ex. Whether they’re reminiscing about fond memories or complaining non-stop about their ex’s behavior, talking about past partners is a big red flag. If your partner has truly moved on, they wouldn’t spend their time thinking about someone from their past. Instead, they would be thinking about their future with you. Don’t ignore this warning sign of problems to come. If your partner is frequently talking about their ex, they may be stuck in the past. Or worse, they may still have feelings for someone else. Either way, talking about past partners means your relationship is on its way out.
9. Suspicion by Default.
Think about the last time you did something nice for your partner. How did they react? When a relationship is failing, it’s common for partners to become unreasonably suspicious and distrustful. Let’s say, for example, that you go out of your way to buy your partner a thoughtful gift.
In a healthy relationship, your partner would appreciate the gesture and realize how much you care about them. On the other hand, if your relationship is struggling, your partner may become suspicious of your intentions. Insecurity drives your partner to assume the worst, turning your nice and thoughtful gestures into a slap in the face. If your relationship was strong before, this problem can be fixed with effort and communication. But if you’re still in the early stages and it’s already an issue, it may be best to go your separate ways.
10. Clashing Social Preferences.
Do you like your partner’s friends? Every relationship involves more people than just you and your partner. You’ll need to socialize together, make friendships together, and interact with the same social circles. But if you don’t like your partner’s friends or family, that problem may never go away. There are many reasons why you may not like your partner’s social group.
You may dislike the person your partner becomes around their friends. Or maybe you just don’t like the effect their friends have on your partner’s life. Either way, your clashing social preferences will be a problem now and in the future. If you don’t like your partner’s friends, or if they don’t like yours, the two of you may not be meant for each other.
11. Fearful Dishonesty.
Perhaps the biggest red flag is if you can’t be yourself around your partner. In a good relationship, you should have the freedom to be your genuine self at all times. You shouldn’t be afraid of judgment or criticism, nor should you hide parts of yourself out of fear or distrust. It’s possible your own baggage is playing a role in your insecurities. In that case, it’s okay to take your time and open up slowly. But, if your partner is the root of your fears, they are not a good fit for you.
Your relationship should be the one place where you can let down your walls and be your honest self with no repercussions. If that isn’t the case, your relationship isn’t going to last.
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