Things narcissists do when you come into contact with a narcissist. Are you feeling stuck dealing with a narcissist and contemplating going no-contact? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Today, we’re shedding light on the things narcissists do when you choose to disconnect. And believe me, you will be happy if you read this article. Stay with me, and you’ll be well on your way to reclaiming your peace and autonomy.
1. Hoovering:
Narcissists frequently use hoovering to draw you back into their area of influence. Wondering what exactly hoovering is? Well, it involves a range of deceptive tactics intended to suck you into their trap. They might try to take advantage of your specific weakness and inspire false optimism in you.
One such strategy is love bombing, where the narcissist goes over the top in giving you an abundance of positive attention, tenderness, and flattery. They could drown you with notes, presents, and extravagant gestures to give the impression of a close bond or ideal relationship. But it’s all part of their manipulation game designed to keep you wanting them and keep you under their control. It is crucial to understand that extravagant displays of affection from a narcissist are rarely positive.
Related:
7 steps to stop thinking about your toxic narcissist ex
13 manipulation strategies narcissists use
7 phrases of the empath that destroy the narcissist
Expect this if a narcissist knows you’re onto them
2. Gaslighting:
This is a psychological manipulation tactic frequently used by narcissists to undermine your confidence and make you doubt your own reality. They employ techniques to distort the truth, manipulate facts, and invalidate your experiences. By doing so, they aim to regain control over you and make you question your decision to cut contact. A narcissist may reject or downplay past events through gaslighting, giving you the impression that your memories are false or embellished.
They could twist your words, misinterpret what you say, or even blame you for mistakes that weren’t your fault. This systematic control might cause you to doubt your sense of reason and judgment, making it easier for the narcissist to keep control of you. It’s critical to remain rooted in your reality and seek assistance from reliable sources who can support you in validating your experiences and reinforcing your decision to break off communication.
3. Smear Campaign:
A smear campaign is a malicious tactic narcissists employ to tarnish your reputation and turn others against you. They may fabricate stories, spread false information, or twist events to make you appear in a negative light. By doing so, the narcissist aims to control the narrative, gain sympathy or support from others, and undermine your credibility. The narcissist may engage in character assassination during a smear campaign, spreading untruths about your private and professional lives.
They will try to influence how other people perceive you by spreading information that presents you negatively or unfavorably. The effects on your relationships, reputation, and general well-being can be detrimental, thus driving you back into their arms. It’s crucial to be resilient, uphold your integrity, and surround yourself with encouraging people who support you despite the narcissist’s attempts to discredit you.
4. Guilt-Tripping:
Guilt-tripping is a common tactic narcissists employ to evoke feelings of guilt and responsibility and manipulate you into resuming contact. They may use emotional manipulation techniques to make you doubt your decision to cut contact and question whether you are being too harsh or unreasonable.
To make themselves appear powerless without you, the narcissist may play the victim, highlighting how upset they are by your actions to arouse your sympathy and compassion. They can say things like, ‘How could you leave me?’ or ‘You’re breaking my heart.’ They do this to place the responsibility on you and make you feel bad for setting boundaries.
5. Silent Treatment:
Silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic used by narcissists to exert control and power over you. It involves intentionally ignoring you, refusing to engage in communication, or even acknowledging your presence to provoke a reaction from you and force you to seek their attention. The narcissist wants to make you feel anxious, apprehensive, and distressed by giving you the silent treatment.
They expect you to want their validation and approval because of the lack of contact and attention, eventually pushing you to cross your limits and get in touch with them. This strategy aims to reaffirm their dominance and authority over the relationship.
6. Intermittent Reinforcement:
Intermittent reinforcement is a manipulation tactic employed by narcissists to maintain control and keep you emotionally invested in the relationship. They alternate between sweet moments of kindness and affection and then abruptly switch to a period of neglect, mistreatment, or even abuse. This inconsistency creates a cycle of uncertainty and confusion, making you constantly question their behavior and seek validation from them.
The narcissist may show you love, compliments, and displays of affection while in the stages of kindness and attention, making you feel cherished, refreshed, and wanted. These happy times, albeit fleeting, are swiftly followed by times of cruelty and neglect. It becomes challenging to escape their control because you develop a sense of dependence due to your optimism that the next outpouring of compassion is just around the corner.
7. Boundary Violation:
Narcissists tend to disrespect and violate your personal boundaries, both physically and emotionally. They may disrespect your stated limits or boundaries, intentionally pushing past them to assert their control and dominance over you. On a physical level, narcissists may invade your personal space without your consent, engaging in unwanted physical contact or intruding into your personal belongings or private areas. This violation of physical boundaries can make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, and disrespected.
8. Stalking:
To keep control and breach your privacy, narcissists in severe situations may turn to stalking. They could relentlessly observe your online and offline behaviors to learn more about you and gain control over your life. Stalking behavior can take many different forms, including persistent observation, tracking your whereabouts, or unannounced appearances at locations you frequent. They might hack into your social media accounts or put tracking devices on your possessions to monitor you using technology.
You may feel continually on edge and violated due to this invasion of privacy, which can be tremendously upsetting. If you feel their behavior has crossed over into stalking, it is crucially important to alert local authorities, speak to a trusted friend, and not let the narcissist manipulate you into thinking you are overreacting or being unkind.
9. Love Bombing:
Narcissists utilize the extreme and manipulative technique of love bombing to overwhelm you with an outpouring of love, compliments, and presence to make you feel wanted, appreciated, and adored. The narcissist may make considerable efforts to fabricate an idealized relationship vision.
They may give you continual affection, send you frequent messages, make grand gestures, and compliment and flatter you. While they are in the love bombing phase, they want to establish themselves as the one person you can turn to for approval and love, making you feel dependent on them.
10. Triangulation:
Narcissists utilize the manipulative technique of triangulation to inflame conflict and instability in interpersonal relationships. They purposefully involve a third party, frequently an ex-partner, a friend, or a relative, to arouse sentiments of resentment, rivalry, or insecurity in you, thus keeping you under their control.
11. Emotional Blackmail:
Emotional blackmail is a manipulative strategy frequently employed by narcissists to exert control and pressure you into complying with their desires. They may use emotional manipulation tactics and threats to make you feel guilty, responsible, or obligated to fulfill their needs or resume contact. Narcissists may exploit your empathy and sense of responsibility by making you believe that their well-being or happiness depends solely on your actions.
They may use emotional manipulation such as exaggerated displays of sadness, self-harm tactics, or claims of being unable to function without you. By doing so, they seek to evoke a sense of guilt or fear, ultimately coercing you into meeting their demands or resuming contact against your better judgment.
12. Pity Ploys:
Pity ploys are a manipulative tactic frequently employed by narcissists to elicit sympathy, empathy, and compassion from you or others. They strategically portray themselves as victims or individuals needing help to manipulate the situation to their advantage.
Narcissists may play on your empathetic nature by presenting themselves as helpless, misunderstood, or unfairly treated. They may share exaggerated stories of their hardships or emphasize their emotional pain to trigger feelings of guilt or a sense of responsibility in you. By garnering pity, they aim to regain control, elicit support, and maintain their influence over you and others.
13. Financial Manipulation:
Narcissists often use financial manipulation to exert control and power over their victims. They may attempt to control your finances by withholding money, limiting access to resources, or threatening your financial stability. Narcissists may intentionally create dependency by controlling the purse strings, using financial leverage to manipulate you into maintaining contact or complying with their demands. They may control your access to shared funds, restrict your ability to work or earn money or exploit your financial vulnerabilities to ensure you remain reliant on them.
14. Hoovering Through Others:
When engaging in hoovering, narcissists often use mutual acquaintances, friends, or family members as intermediaries to maintain a connection with you or gather information about your life. They may manipulate these individuals into relaying messages, probing for details, or even acting as a spy on their behalf. They may try to exploit existing relationships, creating a web of information flow that allows them to keep tabs on you and potentially find ways to regain control or manipulate your emotions.
15. Appearing as a Changed Person:
During this phase, the narcissist may display seemingly genuine remorse for their past actions, apologize profusely, and make grand gestures to convince you that they have transformed. They may claim to have had an epiphany or undergone therapy, promising to rectify their past behavior and become a better person. However, it’s crucial to approach these claims cautiously, as narcissists often struggle to maintain long-term change and are prone to reverting to their manipulative patterns once they feel secure in the relationship again.
Related:
7 steps to stop thinking about your toxic narcissist ex
13 manipulation strategies narcissists use
Leave a Comment