Hey everyone, and welcome to Pobrelo. Today, we will learn about fifteen signs that someone secretly hates you. Here are the signs that someone hates you, but isn’t communicating their feelings. When someone dislikes you, these signs and signals may pop up. If you’re not in the right crowd, you deserve to know.
1. Conversation Stoppers.
Someone that secretly dislikes you will give away as little information as possible. They won’t share their genuine thoughts or feelings. They won’t ask questions or try to deepen your connection. Instead, they will give short, simple answers that leave you wondering where to take the conversation next. For example, you might ask someone, “How are you doing?” A real friend would tell you what they’ve been up to and ask how your day is going in return. But someone who secretly hates you might reply with something short and blunt. At every turn, their responses stop the conversation in its tracks. Why? Because this person is hiding their resentment toward you.
2. Never-Ending Fights.
Do you know someone who is constantly picking fights about the tiniest details? If someone is angry or resentful, even the most minor conflicts can spiral into much bigger disagreements. Every time you see each other, you find yourselves arguing about something new… and you can never figure out why. Here’s the reason you’re constantly fighting. Your friend is frustrated, and they’re taking it out on you. They’re becoming increasingly resentful toward you or your friendship, even if they can’t express those negative feelings in a healthy way.
3. The Impassable Wall.
Friends should be open and vulnerable with each other. They should communicate their true feelings, discuss their weaknesses, and help each other improve. But when someone secretly dislikes you, they build a wall around their feelings and refuse to let you in. Every time you ask this person what’s going on in their life, they push you away. They make you feel bad for prying into their personal life, even though you are only trying to connect as friends. If you know someone who refuses to open up, they may be trying to create emotional distance from you.
4. Disingenuous Behavior.
Have you ever spent time with someone who seems fake or phony? They tell you they’re having a good time, but every moment of your time together feels forced. When you see them smile, it doesn’t seem natural or genuine. It may feel like they’re only telling you what you want to hear, but the truth is that you may be doing the same thing. You two look like friends on the outside, but there is probably some degree of tension brewing under the surface.
For some reason, this person is unwilling or unable to be themselves around you. They refuse to genuinely smile, laugh, or let their guard down, likely because they don’t trust you the way you think. So, pay attention to the people in your life who seem disingenuous. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or how close you think you are. Fake, unnatural behaviors are strong, reliable signs of a broken friendship.
5. The Passive Planner.
Does this person ever initiate contact? Do they ever text or call you, or do you always reach out to them? When someone enjoys another person’s company, they actively create opportunities to spend time together. They’ll invite you to the movies or the park. They’ll text you or call you to see how you’re doing. But if they don’t like you, they’ll never go out of their way to spend time with you. Instead, they become passive planners. They respond when you message them, but it’s always your responsibility to keep the relationship alive. Without you, the two of you would never talk because, deep down, they don’t care about it all that much.
6. Finding Pleasure in Failure.
Real friends view each other as allies and supporters, not rivals or fierce competitors. You may inspire each other to be better, but you don’t become jealous of each other’s successes. On the other hand, resentful friends want you to fail because they consider you a rival and a threat. They constantly feel a sense of competition toward you. They may never say it out loud, but watching you fail brings them pleasure. Because under the surface, they consider you more of an enemy than a friend.
7. The Danger of Drifting.
If someone secretly hates you, they may subconsciously create space between you. You spend less time together. You run in different circles. You have opportunities to see each other, yet you regularly struggle to communicate. You might be wondering, “if we can see each other, why don’t we?” or, “why is it so difficult to make plans?” The answer is simple, though it may not be the answer you want to hear. This person creates physical and mental distance from you because they don’t think of themselves as your friend. This person may not realize what they’re doing or why they’re doing it, but if they keep drifting away… they might drift out of your life.
8. The Social Polygraph.
How do you know if someone is lying about how they really feel? The easiest way to snuff out a liar is to look for changes in their behavior. This is the basic premise of a polygraph or lie detector. These machines measure minor deviations in heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration to differentiate between honest and dishonest responses. You may not have access to a polygraph, but you can still detect changes in people’s behavior. For example, watch how their behavior changes around you versus their other friends. If you notice sudden changes in their mood, speech, or general behavior, this person is likely hiding their real emotions.
9. Time Checks.
Do you know someone who constantly checks the time when you’re together? Looking at your watch or phone is a common signal of impatience. You check the time every few minutes when you’re in a rush to get somewhere else… or simply because you don’t want to spend another minute where you are now. When people enjoy each other’s company, time seems to fly. The minutes and hours seem to slip away, but the opposite happens when you spend time with someone you dislike.
Time slows to a crawl and every minute lasts for ages. So, you constantly check the time, wondering when your suffering will finally end. If you know someone who checks the time whenever you’re around, look for other signs of disinterest and disrespect. Impatience isn’t always a sign that someone hates you, but it usually means this person would rather be somewhere else.
10. Petty Possessions.
If your friend secretly hates you, they may become possessive of all the things you used to borrow and share. When a friendship is strong, you’re happy to lend each other resources and share your possessions. You trust each other enough to share ownership of valuable items. But if one person secretly hates you, they may become very particular about keeping everything for themselves. This may seem like a petty issue in the greater context of your friendship, but this small change often demonstrates how someone feels.
11. Physical Disrespect.
When you’re engaged in a conversation, is this person attentive and open, or do they seem distracted and closed off? Body language is often the best indicator of how someone truly feels. They may never express their honest emotions out loud, but their feelings still create subtle changes in their physical behavior. For example, if someone secretly hates you, they may avoid eye contact. Even when you say something that invokes their attention, they look in the other direction or purposely avoid looking at your eyes. Making eye contact is not only a sign of emotional closeness, but it’s one of the most common ways we show other people that we care. Anyone who signals otherwise isn’t giving you the respect or attention you deserve.
12. The Clingy Friend.
It can be challenging to maintain a friendship with someone who is increasingly resentful toward you. Over and over, this person pulls away from you. But the worst part is… they make you feel bad about trying to keep the relationship alive. For instance, this person may call you clingy, sensitive, or overly demanding. Maybe they’ve never said those words aloud, but their behavior makes you feel like you’re asking for too much. If this sounds familiar, your friendship may have taken a turn for the worse. You feel like the clingy friend because this person isn’t meeting you halfway.
13. Extreme Tension.
Does this person frequently lose their temper around you? Are they stressed or irritated every time you see each other? Someone who secretly dislikes may not tell you how they feel, but that doesn’t stop their frustrations from bubbling up to the surface. When something goes wrong, they lose all control. It feels like every move you make puts them in a bad mood. Even though you claim to be friends, there’s a good chance this person secretly hates you.
14. The Ultimate Betrayal.
Your friends should have your back at every opportunity. They give you confidence and courage. They offer advice and support. At every turn, they want to help you find success. Someone who secretly hates you will stand in your way. For example, a resentful friend may flirt with the person you like, even though they know how you really feel. On the surface, this person says nothing has changed. They swear to be your friend and promise they’d never betray you. But their actions may tell a different story.
15. Ignorant Humiliation.
Friends know a lot about you. When your friendship is strong, that knowledge allows you two to connect on a deeper level. But that knowledge can put you in a compromising situation. For example, resentful friends will take advantage of your vulnerabilities. They may impulsively forget about your deepest fears, which ultimately puts you in a difficult or embarrassing position. If this person dislikes you enough, they may even try to humiliate you on purpose. In either case, this person uses your vulnerabilities to their advantage. Why? Because your friendship isn’t nearly as strong or healthy as you think.
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