Have you ever experienced a conversation with a narcissist that drove you mad? You can start a perfectly normal conversation and then end up going round and round in circles, talking to them, wondering in the end why you, a perfectly normal person, leave the conversation questioning if something is wrong with you. Now, this can happen a lot when talking to narcissists, and it’s because they have tried-and-tested tactics for controlling and confusing a conversation. So in today’s article, we’re going to learn what some of the most commonly used tactics are. Are you ready?
1. Reverse Projection:
A narcissist will often interpret anything you say as an insult and a personal attack on them. They’ll reverse project to turn themselves into the victims all the time. You may have been trying to say something nice, but then they will turn it around into you being the bad guy, leaving you confused and scratching your head about how things got to this.
2. Changing the Topic:
Narcissists need to always be in control of the conversation, and if they notice that you have the upper hand, you are right, and then they can’t disprove you. So they’ll attempt to completely change the topic. That way, they will be back in control and talking about themselves.
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3. Raising Their Voice:
This is a very common method of intimidation. They use shouting as a way of making you retreat from standing your ground. It’s more often used in public spaces because you’re unlikely to want to risk public embarrassment. So they know that they will win by making you back down and attempt to calm things down instead.
4. Blaming:
As the narcissist changes topics of conversations, they may well end up putting the blame on you for something. It may be things brought up from the past that you thought were dealt with already, but they weren’t for the narcissist. They were just held back to be used on a specific occasion just like this one. And then suddenly you’re the one to blame for something, and you’re defending yourself once again. You will have no idea how the conversation changed course so quickly, and that’s exactly what the narcissist wanted.
5. Playing the Victim:
Narcissists know how to turn a situation around to make it out as if they are the victim. This can happen in all sorts of formats. Yes, you could have asked them to do something fairly simple, but they will make out as if you haven’t considered their emotions or their situation. And it will always end up with them somehow being the victim, and everyone needing to feel for them. And again, they now end up in control of the conversation.
6. Interruption:
When a narcissist is having a conversation with you, they will rarely ever care for what you are actually saying. As when you’re talking, it’s not them that is the center of attention anymore, and they hate that. So they will love to be back in at the center of attention and interrupt so the conversation has to take part by their rules. And if they notice you’re getting the upper hand or are close to proving your point in whatever it is you’re explaining, they’ll just start interrupting you and attempt to throw you off. They interrupt you so that they can take control back and get attention back on them again. Also, you will notice a lot of narcissists will just start yawning in the middle of a conversation, just to let you know that they’re bored. They just want to get going.
7. Silent Treatment:
When all else fails for the narcissist, silent treatment is their final tool. This is a form of emotional abuse that they will use to regain their control. They won’t talk to you until you accept their perceived version of the truth, and then usually have you apologizing for it too. I don’t know about you, but just listening to those tactics is so stressful. And to try and be with a narcissist, whether it’s a friend, a partner, whoever it is, they are always, always hard work. And it’s very, very common that they won’t accept any version of change because they think they are just the best people in the whole wide world. So I hope that helped you to understand a little bit more inside the brain of a narcissist.
Related:
11 Common ways a covert narcissist punishes you
How to identify a narcissist from a conversation
7 Phrases of the empath that destroy the narcissist
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