Today I’m talking about se*x*u*al narcissism, and I will give you seven signs that your partner may be a se*x*u*al narcissist. What is Se*x*u*al Narcissism? Okay, so to start off, let’s talk about se*x*u*al narcissism and what it is. A se*x*u*al narcissist is defined as a person who has narcissistic traits that are specifically and primarily related to s*e*x, meaning their narcissistic behaviors are apparent within the context of se*x*u*al behavior and se*x*u*al relationships.
The se*x*u*al narcissist is driven by a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, and superiority in regard to their se*x*u*al skills. They have an excessive need for admiration, specifically around se*x*u*al performance, as well as a massive lack of empathy towards their se*x*u*al partner and a willingness to exploit others for se*x*u*al purposes. Se*x*u*al narcissists are excessively preoccupied with their se*x*u*al abilities, attractiveness, and desirability, and they have unrealistic views of s*e*x and unrealistic expectations of their se*x*u*al partners. These se*x*u*al narcissists exhibit narcissism primarily in a se*x*u*al context, and they may or may not have a narcissistic personality disorder.
It’s important to know the signs of se*x*u*al narcissism because se*x*u*al narcissists are predisposed to se*x*u*ally aggressive and abusive behavior, and they typically have found creative ways to protect themselves from any accusations of se*x*u*al abuse or assault, and they will be grooming you early on for se*x*u*al exploitation. So here are seven signs that your partner might be a se*x*u*al narcissist:
1. Self-Esteem and Insecurity.
They have extremely high self-esteem when it comes to s*e*x, yet they are incredibly sensitive to any real or perceived criticism related to their se*x*u*al performance or s*e*x appeal. For example, when given a suggestion, concern, need, desire, or boundary related to s*e*x, whatever it may be or how gently it was expressed, they will ignore that best, and at worst, it will trigger a narcissistic injury, potentially triggering narcissistic rage, which can involve aggression and violence where partners are punished se*x*u*ally or otherwise.
Se*x*u*al narcissists appear to have an inflated sense of their se*x*u*al abilities, and yet they need constant admiration from others. Their whole life revolves around getting s*e*x and getting se*x*u*al validation. Se*x*u*al narcissists crave and demand praise during s*e*x. They may order their partners to complement them or express intense se*x*u*al satisfaction, even if they’re not enjoying or comfortable with the se*x*u*al acts being performed. Se*x*u*al narcissists like to portray themselves.
Their se*x*u*al abilities as unique and incredibly superior to others, and while some research demonstrates that se*x*u*al narcissists actually do perceive themselves to be great lovers, other research shows that se*x*u*al narcissists are only acting confident, grandiose, and arrogant about their se*x*u*al performance to compensate for an underlying insecurity about their se*x*u*al adequacy.
2. Sense of Entitlement.
They feel a sense of se*x*u*al entitlement, and they exploit others se*x*u*ally. Se*x*u*al narcissists are se*x*u*ally entitled, and some research shows that se*x*u*al narcissism is a predictor of se*x*u*al aggression and assault. Se*x*u*al narcissists not only expect s*e*x on-demand, but they feel entitled to s**ex exactly when they want it, how they want it, and where they want it, regardless of their partner’s comfort level and needs. And if they don’t have their demands met immediately, they may respond with aggression, threats, or other narcissistic tactics to punish or coerce their partner into engaging in se*x*u*al activities.
So even if it’s non-consensual, they may continue to push pressure or even force their partner to comply with their se*x*u*al needs and demands. Some se*x*u*al narcissists will block mail using threats to share explicit photographs/videos in order to get what they want. They often use fear, guilt, as well as a partner’s dependency and sense of obligation to manipulate them into unwanted se*x*u*al activity.
3 Promiscuity and Infidelity.
Se*x*u*al narcissists are promiscuous (3. Promiscuity and Infidelity). Se*x*u*al narcissists are often known as being magnetic, superficially charming, and pickup artists. They are masters at using emotional manipulation tactics to reel people in and get them in bed. Research shows that people that score high in se*x*u*al narcissism have higher rates of infidelity, and when a se*x*u*al narcissist does cheat, they feel no guilt and no remorse. In fact, they usually blame their partner for their cheating behavior, often claiming that it’s their partner’s fault for not meeting their unrealistic se*x*u*al demands, which can often include deviant, disturbing, or extreme se*x*u*al acts.
Most se*x*u*al narcissists experience se*x*u*al boredom and need novel, thrilling, and sensational se*x*u*al experiences to temporarily satiate their obsessive-compulsive se*x*u*al fantasies and urges and their need for validation and praise in the se*x*u*al arena. They love the high they get from new partners and often see getting someone in bed as a game, which they play regardless of whether or not they’re in a relationship. S*e*x is where they get all of their supply, and if you’re not willing or able to supply them with exactly what they want, exactly when they want it, they feel completely entitled and justified to get it somewhere else.
4 Prioritizes their own needs.
Se*x*u*al narcissist prioritizes their own needs. se*x*u*al satisfaction and needs. Se*x*u*al narcissists usually begin a relationship as being super charming, showering a potential partner with compliments, praise, attention, and that love bombing. Then, once they get them in bed, they no longer need to impress you or try to meet your needs and will become very selfish and one-sided.
They will expect you to be on call, catering to their every se*x*u*al desire, expecting you to do whatever they want no matter how it makes you feel. A se*x*u*al narcissist doesn’t see you as an individual with your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. They see you as a s*e*x object who exists solely to meet their needs.
Because of this, your needs are completely ignored and dismissed. Your thoughts and feelings do not concern them. So when you do make a request or express a need or set a boundary, the se*x*u*al narcissist punishes or uses other tactics to control and dominate you se*x*u*ally.
5 Never satisfied.
The se*x*u*al narcissist is never satisfied. While they go to great lengths to prioritize their own se*x*u*al satisfaction, they tend to report low se*x*u*al satisfaction and blame their partners for it. So, even if you are compliant, they will continue to voice that you are not satisfying them in an effort to decrease your self-worth and increase the odds that you will work even harder to try to satiate them se*x*u*ally.
They are constantly working on grooming their partners to get them to fulfill their demands, and they do this by judging, criticizing, insulting, and punishing you for your se*x*u*al inadequacies. Again, their aim is to make you feel like you’re not good enough and that you need to work harder to prove that you will be able to satisfy them se*x*u*ally. But they are insatiable, and because of this, they are constantly roaming for s*e*x.
6 Excessive focus on the physical.
“They have an excessive focus on the physical aspects of the relationship. For the se*x*u*al narcissist, it’s all about physical appearance, beauty, and se*x*u*al performance. They have a major problem with any perceived physical flaws, their own or. . .
“So when it comes to s*e*x, it’s not about emotional connection or intimacy but about measuring up to ideal expectations around appearance and performance. S*e*x is very much a performance to them, and again they very much view their partner as an object rather than a human being.
Any emotional closeness interferes with their se*x*u*al pleasure; it turns them off. They simply want you playing out a role and acting out what is already in their mind, and they’re very much dissociated from you emotionally, and only interacting with you on a se*x*u*al level. And even se*x*u*ally, there’s no intimacy; you are just a tool, someone to play out their sensational se*x*u*al fantasies.”
7 Treat partners poorly afterward.
They treat their partner poorly and neglect them after s*e*x. Since the se*x*u*al narcissist is simply using you to satisfy their own se*x*u*al needs, once those needs are met, they may disappear. So once s*e*x is over, you are dismissed until the next time they come calling, and then again, only stick around until that need is satisfied. The short and long-term impacts of a relationship with a se*x*u*al narcissist can be extremely devastating. The most common impacts are low self-esteem, shattered body image, shame, guilt, and fear around s*e*x and relationships, damage to s*e*x drive, overall trust issues, and sometimes post-traumatic stress disorder.
If you recognize that your partner may be a se*x*u*al narcissist, then take some time to honestly examine the ways this is impacting you. Get help to evaluate your relationship and figure out how to regain control over your life, and if your partner shows abusive or violent behavior, se*x*u*ally or otherwise, know that it is not your fault, even though that is what they will try to have you believe. And again, reach out for help to develop a safety plan and figure out how to get out of this situation as quickly and safely as possible.
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