Narcissists are masters of manipulation. If you want to learn their devious ways to avoid falling into their trap, then stay tuned. My name is Pobrelo, and have a lovely day.
They make you feel amazing.
Once you’ve met a narcissist, you’ll surely be nodding along with me. At first, they greet you and make such a fuss of you that you’re just overwhelmed by their humble and lovely nature. You may hear, ‘I just can’t believe how amazingly skilled you are. You’re just incredible.
I’m so impressed.’ These nice words sound sweet to the ears, but you can’t help but bathe in the compliments. But then, it turns out it’s just their way to gain control. They’re purposely making you feel special and valued so that you’ll like them more, keeping you around for some form of advantage.
Sadly, they go out of their way to make you feel special. You may still be awesome, but they only ever feed you compliments for their benefit. Next time someone gives you an overwhelming amount of flattery, it’s best to turn the other way and avoid them completely. Their love bombing will reel you in, in the long run.
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The long conversations.
They love themselves. Conversations with narcissists, well, they absolutely love themselves. They admire themselves, which is called the grandiose trait. They love to hear the sound of their own voice, and they’ll speak for hours. They always have amazing stories to tell you, and it’s easy to want to listen to them because they really are mysterious and very intriguing. However, they do this to manipulate you more, to test if you’re having a narcissistic conversation. Pay attention to what they actually say, because they include lots of filler words and unnecessary sentences to bulk out the conversation. That’s your sign.
Codependency.
A narcissist naturally seeks out someone with codependent characteristics because, while they are a perfect contrast, the narcissist gets to blame the other for their mistakes, which the narcissist did. This makes the codependent person become some kind of servant, apologizing for things they never did, and becoming very afraid of the narcissist’s next move. They say yes to everything, hot and cold behavior.
They play games.
Without a doubt, a narcissist plays games to take advantage of people and situations. They’ll give you lots of attention and compliments one day so that you melt in their hands and help them with pretty much anything they request of you. But then the next day, they are cold and distant because apparently, you did something wrong. And if you ever find yourself whispering ‘WTF’, chances are it’s because you’re confused about what happened, because they are just so delusional with their emotions and their crazy behavior.
The Gaslighting tactics.
Famous gaslighting, this is one of the biggest tactics that you’ll ever come across. They will gaslight you to manipulate your own thoughts and question your own mentality, hoping that the narcissist somehow gets their own way over you. The act of gaslighting can be seen in lying. They deny anything wrong ever happened and tell you that you’re crazy. They’ll turn everything onto you and make out that you’re the one in the wrong.
For example, if you suspect a narcissist was cheating on you and you snooped on their phone, naturally, you accuse them. They wouldn’t acknowledge the cheating. They might say, ‘See, this is why I cheated. I can’t trust you not to look through my stuff.’ Gaslighting is a narcissist’s weapon to come out on top. And if you ever feel that you need to record a conversation with a narcissist for proof of what was said, because you feel they always go against their own words, it’s proof of the gaslighting and another manipulation tactic.
They OTT Emotions.
The Outpouring of Emotions. Narcissists are very, very emotionally unstable, and they use their emotions to manipulate the world around them. You can expect a narcissist to almost groom you, and tell you sweet things to get you into their circle. They may dish out lots of their own shocking personal stories to keep you interested in them. And then, if you do something that upsets them, even if you didn’t do this thing on purpose, the narcissist will see red. Boom, expect dramatic emotions: anger, crying for help, swearing, calling you out for previous bad behavior. It’s a lot.
Because you don’t expect the average person to act as bad as this, you almost believe that you did something terrible. Their unstable emotional rhythm is exhausting and so painful that it may cause you to work even harder and tread on eggshells carefully to avoid seeing the narcissist’s wrath in their rage. And if you ever find yourself working for a narcissistic boss, please leave your job. You will only ever be seen as a servant because they will never respect you.
Their emotional display, but it’s really Oscar-worthy because it kicks you off the butt, and they get the reaction out of you that they want, which is to benefit them in some way. From my own experience, I was once working with a narcissist. At the time, I kind of had suspicions they were narcissistic, but I didn’t think about it too much. And when I innocently corrected them about something, they forgot.
All hell broke loose. They sent me rude emails. They officially dismissed my services and called me out for purposely sabotaging their product launch. Well, in the meantime, I was sitting at my computer reading my emails like, ‘WTF just happened?’ Chew your beans, man. I didn’t reply for a while because I was very confused with what just happened.
And I thought I was at fault and going crazy that I missed something. So I kindly replied, telling the company it’s best we go our separate ways. And then, the grandiose messages come flooding in, the heartfelt messages about how important I was. So I just closed my laptop, let out a long exhale, and said, ‘Oh, how gracious. Thanks.’ In short, their negative emotions are used to trick others, and it usually works. If a guy kicks off in a restaurant because his steak is well done instead of rare, he is much more likely to get a meal for free. Whereas if a humble guy kindly said, ‘I think you’ve overcooked my steak,’ you may just get a chance to have it recooked, in a very small apology.
You know that quote, ‘Stop making dumb people famous?’ Well, we need to change it to ‘Stop encouraging narcissists,’ because if you retaliate with a narcissist, you only ignite the fire, and you can’t ever reason with one. They will never, ever respect you or your side of the story or even try to understand you. You’re best off just remaining silent and walking away. Big, scary emotions control the victim of a narcissist. Your endless control.
They tell you about faults.
Faults, linking back to my previous narcissistic situation, I was greeted with tons of reasons why I was the bad person, and I was like, ‘Whoa, dude, you really squeezed every single drop of juice out of this BS orange, haven’t you, matey?’ And when they become triggered and upset, expect to hear a thousand reasons for how you did them wrong. However, don’t pay attention to them. It’s all in the bid to get you back playing the submissive role, and a narcissist will rarely ever apologize. And if he does, it’s only for some publicity stunt. They will always pass the blame onto, sadly, someone else.
You may hear the quote, ‘They did this, why haven’t you?’ This sentence can be applied in many ways. My mother makes me chicken soup when I’m hungry, so why aren’t you making it for me? Or my absolute personal favorite from a past toxic relationship that I was once in, ‘My ex has a curvy figure. Have you ever considered surgery? Because I think you would look great.’ Ouch.
They will compare you to other people to erode your confidence, to make you fall into submission, and to live out every last of their commands. And if you ever hear this sentence, please, please run away from them.”
Related:
Malignant narcissist vs narcissist how to spot the difference
Expect this if a narcissist knows you’re onto them
Hidden Agenda Behind Narcissistic Compassion
7 Lies about narcissism we like to tell ourselves
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