Sneaky Traits of the Covert Narcissist What if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist right now, and don’t even know it? We’re going to break down the sneaky signs in this article. Hi, I’m Dr. Pobrelo, a trauma expert and top doctor and in this topic, I help you identify the hidden narcissists in your life so that you can turn that trauma into gold.
Imagine becoming a Phoenix, rising from the ashes, rising above the trauma, and the chaos, and becoming stronger and more powerful than ever before. Okay? So let’s get started today. We’re talking about five sneaky ways that covert narcissists use to hide in plain view so that they’re in your life and in your relationships and you don’t even know it. They are chameleons. Covert, narcissists are shape-shifters or chameleons.
1. Chameleons.
The shapeshifters. Become the characteristics of the person or the people that they’re with. They use this to create a common bond, to seem like you’re on the same wavelength or like they’re one of the group. So, if your boyfriend is one way when the two of you are home alone, and he seems to be an entirely different person at work, and then an entirely different person yet when out with the guys, you need to beware. The second sneaky sign that someone is a covert narcissist in your life.
2. Constantly criticize.
Constantly criticize and judge other people and you. is that they constantly criticize. They are constantly criticizing and judging other people for something. It might be, “She is a bad driver”. “He always shows up late.” “Didn’t Mary wear that same thing yesterday to work?” There’s this level of constant criticism.
And when they’re very skilled at this, they can also turn it into a love bomb. But imagine this one, the guy that you’re dating says, “She does not have the body type for that outfit. It would look so much better on you.” Right? He just criticized and judged someone else and made it into giving you a compliment at the same time. The third sneaky sign is that they are jealous in a romantic relationship.
3. Jealousy is their middle name.
Love bombing, confidentially tells you things. This one is obvious when they make it about how much they care about you or how much they love you. It is also a love bomb in a friendship or a business relationship as they may become distant or pull away if you spend too much time or any time with another friend or a colleague. Or they may even pull you aside to, confidentially, tell you why you should stay away from that person, as if they are protecting you, as if they have your back. When in fact they do not.
4. Their words don’t match their actions.
Habitual liars The fourth sneaky trait is that their words don’t match their actions. Narcissists at their core are liars. They are incapable of consistently telling the truth and they may lie with their actions rather than with their words. So for example, if your friend tells you, they love football because you love football, but they didn’t watch the big game – makes you go, Hmm.
Or if they tell you that they’re eating healthy, their focus is on eating healthy because your focus is on eating healthy, and then they go get fast food every day, their actions don’t match their words. If they tell you that they’re really working on becoming less judgmental, and less critical of others, and then they walk around judging and criticizing everyone, that’s another example of where their actions don’t match their words and is a way for them to draw you in with sympathy or with compassion.
Like they’re trying to change in a way that draws you into the relationship instead of seeing them for who they are. If this resonates with you type “Sneaky” in the comment box and be sure to watch Why You Absolutely Have to Avoid the Love Bomb Trap. The fifth sneaky sign.
5. They create drama.
They feed off of it. that you’re dealing with a covert narcissist in your life is that they create drama. Narcissists love drama. It energizes them. They feed off of it. They may create drama by initiating gossip, and those that are really skilled will do it under the guise of being concerned. Like “I’m so concerned about Susan. She looks hung over today. I’m worried she might have a drinking problem”, right? They’re really not concerned about Susan at all.
This is their way of gossiping to you and making it look like they care. Or they might create drama by orchestrating some sort of dramatic situation like running into your ex when you’re out for dinner or running into a former business partner who you’d really rather not see when you’re out doing something else.
They appear completely innocent. How could they have known you would run into this person? They feel so sorry for you. And yet they’re sitting there thriving and, um, reveling in the drama that is going on around them.
Covert narcissists are sneaky and you need to be aware so that you can be on the lookout. Notice if there are any in your life. Notice signs or red flags of those who may wish to target you in the future so that you can avoid that altogether.
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