Narcissists always look like they’re winning. Narcissists often appear to be gaining victory or achieving success. They may seem attractive and endearing. Engaging, charming, and appealing. They give the impression of going places and looking like they’ve won, which may seem contradictory. However, the very nature of narcissists is that they cannot sustain long-term success. They are unable to produce anything genuinely good or productive. Their disorder prevents them from doing so, leading to a lack of order and regularity, causing them difficulty, distress, impairment, and suffering in their daily lives.
Unveiling the Illusion
But the truth won’t always be apparent because many narcissists have enablers people who support the illusion, making their success possible. These enablers also encourage and support the narcissist’s negative and self-destructive behavior. Not all enablers are narcissists themselves, but they do have their own issues they’re insecure and have low self-esteem, which brings them together with the narcissist.
This may seem like a perfect match because they desire to make the narcissist happy and validate them. However, the narcissist needs to keep them under their influence and control. To do this, they employ other enablers who further support the illusion. These enablers act as a check on others, making sure they conform to the rules and principles that govern their interactions and procedures.
Manipulation, Control, and the Enabler’s Dilemma
This setup works perfectly for the narcissist, as they receive all the attention and praise they crave with minimal effort, while others deal with the problems. The illusion makes the narcissist look great while making everyone else look bad. It keeps everyone confused and in disarray, with the narcissist appearing to be the only sane and good person. However, in reality, the narcissist manipulates people by generating fake problems, preventing real issues from being identified and resolved, and ensuring their control remains intact.
Some enablers may refuse to accept that the narcissist is abusive, while others catch on to something being wrong. To keep the enablers in check, the narcissist pits them against each other, involving them in defending the illusion without realizing they are being manipulated. The creators of the illusion might not even care about its destructive effects on everyone involved, including the narcissist.
The Inescapable Nature of Narcissists
Narcissists thrive in dysfunction, finding comfort in their disorder and how it serves them. However, this dysfunction becomes highly inconvenient for the enablers, making it difficult for them to get along with others and get things done. Yet, they continue supporting the illusion out of fear of the narcissist’s reaction if it were threatened. They are scared of losing control and are compelled to defend something they know deep down isn’t real, but they benefit from it.
The illusion is sustained through a complex system of manipulation, keeping enablers under the narcissist’s influence while maintaining a deceptive outward appearance. The enablers become part of a cult, unwittingly defending the illusion and perpetuating the dysfunction.
However, despite their efforts, the illusion is ultimately purposeless, pessimistic, and unproductive, amplifying negative aspects and making things worse. Eventually, everything falls apart, causing harm not just to others but to the narcissist as well. The illusion may seem sophisticated, but it eventually reveals itself for what it truly is.
In the end, narcissists cannot escape their nature, and no amount of manipulation can change that fact. They may try to divert attention and twist the truth, but they will always be narcissists. They are already defeated, even if they haven’t realized it yet.
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